Why the holidays can hurt the most as a new parent
The holidays are normally an exciting time! There’s a special sense of joy or even a little magic in the air as we look forward to spending time with family, and making memories that last a lifetime. It’s supposed to be the happiest time of the year especially with a new baby in the family!
But what happens if it’s not? For new parents experiencing a postpartum mood disorder, it can be far from a joy-filled holiday season. Many new parents find themselves trying to get through the day to day grind of caring for their newborn along with caring for themselves. When you add on all the extra events, expenses and expectations that come with the holiday season it can be even more overwhelming. Pack on a global pandemic and the grief that comes with missing many of these special moments, along with the increase in isolation, it can leave many new parents simply trying to keep their heads above water.
POSTPARTUM ANXIETY CAN FEEL DEBILITATING
Postpartum anxiety is something that can take over your life in ways you never really knew were possible. Living in a world of constant “what ifs” is excruciating. One of the symptoms we don’t often talk about is ‘intrusive thoughts’, yet they are one of the most common things new parents struggle with.
These thoughts often involve very vivid visions or flashes of scenarios of harm to one’s self or that of your baby. These can feel absolutely terrifying, especially if you have no idea what they are or why they are happening. There is no easy “off switch” for these and it’s often times a constant flow of unwanted thoughts all day, every day leaving new mothers exhausted.
The holidays can impact these symptoms in many ways. Pressure to attend group gatherings, should the current restrictions allow, can be really challenging. Who’s going to hold the baby? What if something happens? Will they nap today? What if I don’t sleep tonight?
If this sounds like you this holiday season, it’s okay. Slow things down so not to overstimulate yourself. This is one of the best ways you can take care of you this year. Postpartum anxiety is something that can get better over time with a little help. Just remember, thoughts are NOT fact and this is not your fault.
Related: Learn more about Perinatal Mood & Anxiety Disorders but visiting our FAQ’s Page.
POSTPARTUM DEPRESSION IS AN UNWANTED GUEST
To the parents who are experiencing the depths of depression this holiday season – we see you. Everything is overwhelming. We understand the constant dark cloud that has consumed your world.
You may be feeling hopeless, or filled with regret and the constant questioning of whether or not you should have become a mother in the first place. Who can even think about Christmas when you can barely get out of bed? We get it.
What we really want you to know is that it’s not you, it’s the illness. You are a great person who happens to be experiencing one of the most common complications of pregnancy and the postpartum period. You are a good parent! You’re actually the very BEST parent for your baby and it can get better.
It’s important new parents understand that their mental health should be the top priority this holiday season. Although it’s not the Christmas you envisioned this year, and it can feel heartbreaking missing out on the traditions you love, setting boundaries and finding creative ways to make the best of this covid Christmas is a step in the right direction. Make sure that you can take care of yourself and avoid triggering situations this year.
No one signs up for postpartum depression and we need to look at ways to support new parents, especially during the holiday season.
STRONG COMMUNICATION CAN BE A BIG HELP
It’s hard for friends and family to truly understand how you feel if they don’t know what’s going on. Being honest about how your symptoms and needs is the best option. We know it can feel like and an awkward conversation, but trying to tough it out or pretend like nothing is happening feels even worse.
If you find it helpful, we have some free tools you can use that explain a bit more about what postpartum depression/anxiety is and how they can help during the recovery process. Reducing your stress where ever possible is key and although it takes a bit of planning, it’s worth it.
Above all, we want to make sure you are getting the support you need. If you’re overwhelmed and not sure where to start, we can help. Booking a time to chat is the best place to start. Together we can discuss your needs and build a plan that will help you recover much faster. And remember, all supports are free of charge which makes accessing care a bit easier.
Our goal is the Regina Perinatal Health Network is to support new parents through all the ups and downs that come with new parenthood. Reducing isolation, accessing social support and connecting with a strong community of parents who are going through similar experiences are all powerful tools in the treatment of postpartum mood disorders.
Support looks different to everyone and we over many different options for support from private support sessions, to our PMAD Support Group on Facebook or our Weekly support groups that occur at various locations and times throughout the week.
Take care of yourself this holiday season and we hope to see you soon! If you have any questions about how you’re feeling, reach out and we can help!
